Place: Familieneck, Hamburg-Ottensen
Julien: I mean, skirts are incredibly impractical. If all women would wear practical clothing, then they would stop worrying so much about being physically attractive and men would be forced to take their intelligence and personalities into consideration.
Thorsten: But, didn't you just say that it's through choosing to be with women of one particular look that you yourself have gotten to know many different personalities? You hit on these women...it doesn't usually work, but you consciously try...
Julien (pondering briefly): Yes, but that doesn't mean I think skirts are practical. For example, pants are much more logical to wear when climbing trees.
Me: Yes, because I climb at least one tree every day in Hamburg.
(Thorsten bursts into snickers. Julien, being French, completely misses the deadpan sarcasm)
Julien (completely serious): Yes, so even though you argue that you like skirts and they provide pleasant air flow, you admit that you can't climb trees in them. Thus impractical.
Me: So Julien, what if you're walking down a nice little road and you see a cute girl in a poofy skirt crying because her kitten is stuck in a tree, like in those old cartoons. What would you do, refuse to help her (which would afterwards make you her love you) because her choice of clothes isn't practical for climbing trees?
Julien (resolutely): I might.
Me: That's dumb! What would you really do, say "NO, you moron, stop wearing these stupid skirts and DO IT YOURSELF," and then throw a stone or something at the kitten to knock it out of the tree and emphasize your point?
(Julien snickers)
Thorsten: Or, he would say "Of course, you idiot girl," and plant a tree next to the kitten-tree and then they'd have to wait for it to grow so he could then rescue the kitten and show the girl the error of her ways.
Julien: You people are sick. Of course I would save the kitten. And then get the girl. The girl is still a priority, especially if she is hot. Even if she's wearing the skirt.
Me: So you see? Skirts are pretty.
(Thorsten nods emphatically. Julien grumbles and eats some peanuts from the little bowl at the table)
(fifteen minutes later, as we're leaving the pub)
Julien: You're kind of smart for a girl.
(I pause, grin, and simulate a punch to his face)
Me: UPPERCUT TO THE CHIN!
Julien: You know, you also have a pretty good sense of humor. For a girl.
Me: ...Yeah. (pause) When I'm not stoning kittens.
(Julien bursts into laughter)
Julien: That was beautiful. Well done.
(gives me a hug)
Quick elaboration:
Julien= Friend from Reunion Island, strong French accent, shock of curly hair poofing out, psychotic, always has theories on everything that are simultaneously brilliant and preposterous
Thorsten= German friend who looks like Weird Al, guitar instructor, loves the English term "OCD", only drinks red wine and never drinks beer
There was also Thomas, but he generally sits and listens and giggles quietly, so he didn't really say much.
I dunno if this is humorous at all to you (it's probably not at all), but it was pretty great for an otherwise boring Sunday, so I wanted to write it down. Becoming friends with Julien was actually a pretty big accomplishment, because when I first met him I thought he was out of his mind and he thought I was boring and probably stupid. But now we're all friends and I get lots of satisfaction from making Thorsten laugh hysterically, because it's a big, booming laugh and anyone would feel glad to be the cause of it. I like hanging out with them because I always need to use my brain a little in our conversations, something which I unfortunately feel I haven't been using to its capacity lately. More and more often, I miss having to think.
No comments:
Post a Comment