bizzy

Yeah, I know I'm slacking in this thing real hard. But seriously, this week was, if I may, turbo busy.  I had to teach a lot at school which meant I had to prepare lessons, and I did a lot of tutoring because a bunch of kids have tests coming up and now they are freaking out because they have no clue about anything English.  Which means some nice extra money for me, but longass days, and the money is going to buying people Christmas presents anyway.  I pretty much spent the week praying for this moment:  Thursday night, when I can finally sit at home and not think about teaching a bunch of hormonally charged, anti-authority eighth-graders with filthy thoughts that aren't even creative.  But my room is looking pretty boss now, I've got little wooden chairs and a shelf and soon I'll get a sofa form my flatmate Lydia.  

I'll try to write something interesting soon, but lately I've been beat and can barely form whole sentences, let alone type a coherent blog.  I have also been having some nasty sleeping problems that end up with me being a zombie much of the time.  It takes me hours to fall asleep, and I noticed that I can't stop clenching my jaw.  Messed up.  And I regularly lose feeling in my toes, which freaks me out a little.  What if they fall off one night while I'm not sleeping and jaw-clenching?   Ugh.

dumb decisions as usual

Remember in my last post, when I said (and I quote) that I "do stupid shit ALL the time" and that "spontaneity gets me into trouble"? Well, last night pretty much proved that point. In my infinite wisdom I decided to meet up with a friend after tutoring and go to Haus 73 in the Schanze to have some beer and see a band from England play. Here's my timeline:

9:00: Band starts playing. They're okay.
11:30: Band stops, me and comrade hang around Haus 73 for a while until we decide to go.
Some point after 12:30: We realize that I have missed the last subway home.
2:00: I crash at co-conspirator's abode, dreading what is to come.
5:15: I wake up and drag myself to the bus stop. I look in my bag and happily discover a banana given to me by the Korean mom last night. I stuff it into my mouth and chew sleepily.
6:00: I arrive home. I peel off my disgusting-feeling clothes and wash the feeling of "basement" off my face. I slurp coffee.
6:30: I start planning a lesson I have to teach at 8:00. Good god.
7:25: I arrive at school. I am despondent and immediately drink more coffee.
8:00: I begin teaching a bunch of 7th graders about relative and contact clauses. I am slightly cracked out.
9:35: Crisis averted! I am successful. Becoming more and more cracked out by the minute, I proceed to grade 15 tests and complete a variety of other tasks. Coffee makes my tummy hurt.
13:52: Right now. I am not happy, because I still have four hours left at school, including my worst nightmare: Hausaufgabenhilfe. I hate Hausaufgabenhilfe, but thankfully I get paid for it so it's at least a form of hell that buys me stuff. I also have to tutor for two hours afterwards. I wistfully dream of 6:00, when I can trudge home, plod over to my room and pass out on my (freshly washed and nice-smelling, might I add) comfy little bed. But you know what? I don't regret going out at all.

My life might be ridiculous, but hey- at least I'm living it.

basking

Ah, to live in an apartment I like.  It's pretty much like having a new, happier life...living in a place with cool people and colors on the walls is practically heaven compared to my previous dungeon.

I would write more, but I have been out and about from 8 in the morning till around 9 tonight, and I am beat.  Tomorrow is a day-long conference at the school so I get a surprise day off, and I am going to sleep in as long as possible.  

I will write more interesting things soon, but I am not being lazy, I promise.  I actually ride my bike to school and back (unless the weather is bad) and that's around 11 km.  I used googlemaps to figure it all out!  Then today I also rode my bike to tutoring which ended up being around 12 km, so today I rode a total of about 23 km, which is a little over 14 miles.  I figure, since I don't have time on busy days to go to the gym, if I ride my bike everywhere I'll make up for it.  There are definitely some uphill segments too, and if I have my school stuff it adds a lot of weight and I have to pedal pretty hard.  

My friend Amy brought me chocolate and wine last night to celebrate moving into my new place.  After some wine, I forget what we were talking about exactly, I think it had to do with being bolder or something.  Anyway, she ended up taking out her notebook and writing down something I said:  "One, you don't know how DUMB I am sometimes.  Two, I do stupid shit all the time.  And C, spontaneity gets me into trouble."

Apparently, I am a wise sage.

thanksgiving, fat cash

For all that have been asking me, yeah, the picture is from Hamburg...by the oh so popular lake Alster.  Not the greatest picture if you're lusting for a skyline, but I like boats so you can JUST DEAL WITH IT, you punks.

Speaking of punks, I get to sleep late tomorrow because the ninth graders have to take a test.  Yippee!  And in even better news, I suddenly have a bunch of tutoring jobs.  I'm now also tutoring my little Korean protege in math.  He mostly has issues with word problems because it's all in English.  Being the genius I am, I have a pretty good grasp of fourth-grade mathematics and I'm pretty confident I can provide said tutoring.  So, that's four hours a week for the Koreans in the district of Othmarschen, split between Mondays and Wednesdays.  Then I've got a new one coming up in the district of Bramfeld, for this tenth grader who has dismal grades in English.  There's another 90 minutes on Tuesdays.  Then on Thursdays after school I tutor this kid Nick in Conny's LK 12 class, a pretty charming lad who, according to Conny, won't pass his Abitur (that test German high schoolers have to take in order to graduate) if he doesn't get tutoring in English grammar.  Another two hours.  And THEN I am tutoring (probably short-term unless she decides to continue) this girl Marta from the remedial English course I teach with my British colleague James, because she's got a test on December 17th and won't pass it otherwise.  Another two hours.  So that's...9 and a half hours of tutoring, which will roll in at least another hundred euros a week which would really help me out, especially since Christmas is coming up and I'd really like to bring home a few gifts other than chocolate.

Thanksgiving at Dan's was fun!  Stuffing and gravy and corn and potatoes and rolls and all the fixins', everything veg 'cept for the turkey (I had my "hippie shit" instead).  It was me, Dan, Dan's friend Julika, Amy, Amy's friend Tom, and two Brits, Helen and Kat, who were couchsurfing with Tom last weekend.  It was really fun...Helen and Kat were hilarious and there was lots of wine going around and it was just really cool.  Apparently Europeans are not familiar with the joy that is pumpkin pie.  Well, that got rectified.  We were at the table from around 8:30 till one in the morning.  I have pictures!  I also have quotes but they're pretty inappropriate so I'll share those on a request-only basis.

Happy Thanksgiving, punks.

!!!!

OMG A PICTURE!

yay weekend

Ahh I am such a slacker, I need to remember to post on this thing.  I had a really busy week again because one of the teachers I help wasn't in school this week and I had to teach her class for her.  I also went to a pizza party with other couchsurfers and we all brought different toppings and made homemade pizza.  It was really fun and I'm starting to get to know some of them.  Last night me and Amy rescued two ladies with children!  We were window-shopping and these girls were trapped in a store because the stupid employees locked up while they were still in the baby-changing room.  So we went on an epic search for the security guard and rescued the trapped damsels!  We are heroes.  Then we went to meet couchsurfing friends at a bar called Roosen with cool couches and super cheap Astra beer, and Amy went home after that.  ANNND I learned how to play backgammon!!!!!  And I think I'm obsessed.  I want my own backgammon board :(   Then I went with the others (Corinna, Renaud, Julien, Timon, Thorsten and a girl whose name I can't remember) to Barbarabar, this freaking crazy bar in the awesome dive street of Hamburger Berg with a really good DJ and space to dance.  It was nuts (and free!  since it's a bar you don't even have to pay entrance).  We were dancing for a really long time and Julien (who is one of the craziest people I think I have ever met) and I made up this weird new dance move where we pretend to fight, and it was super crowded and we were dancing on top of black boxes (I hope they weren't speakers...) and throwing around Timon's fun Blues Brothers hat.  We staggered out at like 4:30 and I told off some assholes in the subway because they thought they were cool and said this obscene German word used for short girls (I will not explain the full meaning here, but I will say that I was having none of that shit) when I stood up to exit.  It pays to know some choice German phrases in these situations.  I bounced home around five, woke up at two and now I'm going over to Dan's for THANKSGIVING DINNER YAY!   All that's missing is family, football and rotting jack-o-lanterns from Halloween in the yard.  Le sigh.

yay procrastination

Well, hello there.  I have returned, not because I have anything interesting to write, but because I don't feel like planning a bunch of lessons and would rather procrastinate.  Today I started tutoring this adorable Korean fourth-grader.  I think he understands English better than some of my high schoolers...I'm also tutoring his mom because she wants to learn English too.  They're a pretty cute family, and an extra thirty euros a week means an extra 120 euros a month which means I'll be slightly less poor (yeah, I definitely have to manage money carefully these days, the dollas are currently NOT raining on me).  I did my grocery shopping and came home with a pretty heavy backpack full of broccoli, carrots, onion, persimmons, grapes, kiwi, peppers, and all sorts of yumminess.  I'm like, the only person in this freaking apartment who eats fruits and vegetables.  I also got a loaf of the most delicious bread ever from the bakery across the street...I already ate like a third of it today.  I must've gotten one that was right from the oven or something 'cause this bread was bangin'.  And today I went to Alnatura, a big natural foods supermarket that has all the fixins' my little hippie heart desires.  I was in heaven.  Annnnnd it's closer to my new apartment too!

I haven't posted for awhile because last week I was unusually tired and had a lot to do and not much to say.  I'll post my new address soon, too.  But now I have to get back to work planning words and grammar and shit and grammar and words and grammar and shit.

GRRRR

ARGHHHH I had a new post all typed out and my STUPID INTERNET started being a little punk and the post got lost.  So...maybe I'll get the motivation to write it again in a bit.  Gah.

sporty spice

I started doing capoeira (Brazilian martial arts) again!  I used to do it when I was in Bremen and tonight I started up again.  I missed it, man.  It's so cool.  I like that it has awesome music to go along with the super graceful moves.  Of course I'm hardly a graceful person...but one day I'll get there.  If you don't know what capoeira is, watch videos of capoeira masters do it on YouTube and let them blow your mind.

I do it through this thing called SportSpaß (sport fun)...you pay around 8 euros a month and get to take sport classes all over the city whenever you want.  So far I've done a step class (horrible...I suck at the choreography) and a Pilates class in addition to capoeira, and tomorrow I'm going to play badminton (yay!) and some other fun stuff.  I think that Sportspaß is insanely cheap for all the cool stuff I get to do- every day there's a bunch of different classes I can go to that are pretty close to where I live (and not too far from where I'm moving to) .  I tend to like classes more than going to a standard gym because it's way easier to motivate myself to go, and I get to do something different every day.  Capoeira is definitely the most fun, though.  Except my ass is going to kill me tomorrow...

School is good, I've still got my little eleventh-grade minions and the eighth-graders are still a pain in the ass.  Please just give me the older kids who are past the whole anti-authority phase...

Um...two weeks till I move out!!!!  DELIVERANCE

YAY

Last night at the consulate election party I met a (semi-drunk) guy who worked for the Obama campaign:

Me:  "Oh cool! You worked for Obama?  OMG did you ever meet him?"

Dude: "Oh yeah, I met him at a brunch thing this summer."

Me: (jaw drops)  "!!!!!   What is he like?" 

Dude: "Obama?  Oh, he's pimp."

Pimp, indeed.  I have nothing to say other than that I had a big smile when I turned on my TV at six this morning.  I mean, what can I say?  All the eloquent stuff has been said already.  I guess we were just "biden'" our time...PUN INTENDED!

so sehr dabei

First of all...

YAY PHILLIES!!! Thanks for winning the Series...I wish I was home to celebrate *boo*

Secondly, I went to a sold-out concert on Tuesday after winning a ticket on Ebay (for less than the going price, might I add). The concert was Clueso & Band, this adorable German guy with hair that sticks out everywhere. He is virtually unknown in the US because he sings in German. A German friend of mine from Bremen gave me his cd two years ago and since then I've been dying to see him in concert because the cd has become one of my favorites. I went with one of my older students, Laura, because her friend works at the bar in the venue and we got in before everyone else!! I felt super special because we got the best spot and were really close to the stage. You know how sometimes you go to a concert and it's disappointing because you discover that the artist can't sing well live? Not Clueso! He sounded so good I was peering and squinting, trying to detect the presence of lip-syncing. Nope. He can really, really sing. The music is sort of a mix of different sounds from rock and rap and reggae and jazz...hard to define, but pretty unique and super cool. And his band was tight. Trombone, bass guitar, electric guitar, synth, drums, turntables, and he himself also played acoustic guitar for some songs. Every instrument played solos and damn, it was bliss. It was really just great music. His lyrics are awesome too, and what I liked most about the concert was that it was obvious that Clueso loves what he does and isn't a sell-out like most of those dumb popstars; he just loves to make good music and perform it. After three encores, I felt similar to when you finish a delicious meal. Satisfied and happy. I know I'm rambling and babbling and all that--sorry--but I can't help it. I'm still basking in the afterglow.

I also got to see my friend Gülay last night! We were classmates in Bremen and when I went to Istanbul, she was studying abroad there and was so hospitable, showing me around and taking me out and speaking Turkish in the bazaar for me and just being super cool. So when she called me to say she would be in Hamburg, we went to a nice coffee place and, despite her protests, I treated. Hey, it was the least I could do to repay her for saving my ass in Turkey.

Super fun German word of the day:

gebongt: This word doesn't have a perfect English equivalent, and I love it because it is used to say 'okey-dokey', or that you agree with something and you're okay with it. The word comes from the one Germans use to describe the sound/act when cash goes into a cash register and the receipt comes out (how awesome is that?) Also it sounds kind of like bong, and that makes me giggle.

Example:
Ich: "Ich komme morgen nicht in die Schule, kannst du mir bitte am Montag den Schlüssel geben?"
Tanja: "Gebongt!"

Me: "I'm not coming to school tomorrow, could you please give me the key on Monday?"
Tanja: "Alrighty!"

As you can probably guess, I use the word gebongt a lot.

humble request

attn://

DEAR PHILLIES, please win the World Series.  I missed you in 1980 because I was still unborn.  But now that I've managed not to accidentally get hit by a bus for twenty-two years,  let's do this.  I even remember playing that baseball game on the old Nintendo and making you win.  And getting made fun of in school for saying I liked you guys even though you kind of sucked.  So although I was super excited when my second favorite team won the Series last year, now it's time for you to tell everybody to shut the hell up and win this mofo.

Thanks!

Caitlin

FEEL MY SUBTLETY!

So, one thing that I find pretty interesting about German and Germans has to do with subtlety.  I'm more of a person who says things in a roundabout way in the interest of being polite.  I do a lot of dancing around the point.  In my experience, though, most Germans I know are very direct.  They don't shit around, man.  And I think that's not necessarily always due to personality. The language itself and the phrases that people commonly use, well, don't really jive in English.  I'm probably not explaining this very well, so here's an example.

If you call someone in German and they are unavailable, the person who answers will often tell you "Sie hat keine Zeit."  This translates to "She doesn't have time."  You could throw the word "leider" in there (as in, "Sie hat leider keine Zeit")  which means "unfortunately."  But I think that if I called someone up and their mom or whoever said "She doesn't have time," I'd consider that to be pretty brusque.  As in, "She doesn't have time for you."  I mean, in the US we'd usually say something like "She can't come to the phone" or "She's unavailable," and maybe the slightly more curt "She's busy."  These phrases are a bit more oblique and tend to imply that she is too busy to come to the phone at all, it's not just you she doesn't have time for.  But "Sie hat keine Zeit" is perfectly fine in German.  The other day I was offered a coffee and I declined, saying "I think I'm good, thanks."  And the person said, "That's such an American thing to say."  Now it makes sense...instead of just saying "no," I used implications of uncertainty and contentment to decline the coffee.

Anyway, I'm going to the sold-out Clueso concert on Tuesday WEEEEEE

boring post

The cool WG called me!  The one with five Germans who can hopefully be my friends! I can move out of this insufferable dungeon!  At least at the end of November...given that my cranky flatmate finds a replacement for me.  God, it would be so dismal if she couldn't find anyone to take my room, thereby forcing me to remain.  Let's hope that does not happen or I'll set fire to this stupid place.

My trip to Bremen was pretty crazy.  We stayed out until seven or so both nights, because Dan's friends Gerrit and Mathe are mental and relatively bad influences.  Gerrit's really just a ridiculous, human social experiment.  I don't know how to describe Gerrit, really.  You just sort of know him and know that he gets these crazy ideas and drags you and your friends into them.  Before you know it, it's seven in the morning, your feet hurt massively, you had way too much beer, there are strange Finnish kids in your group, and you have learned way more obscene German slang than you thought you needed.  Note:  you can never know too much obscene German slang.  

Dan and I met up with the Dickinson kids who are currently in Bremen and I slept on Jessie's floor.  After two nights I really, really longed for my bed.  It was also really weird to be in Bremen, because we felt like we were in a time warp.  It was familiar, and to make things weirder, Rick (a Dson kid) has Jen's bed linens and Jessie has Matt's room (Matt and Jen were in my group when I studied in Bremen).  It was so odd.  I wished I could go back and do it again because being abroad was such a cool year.  I started to feel kind of sad.  I also met up with my old German flatmates and got to see their new apartment.  I was pleased to see that it still had the artsy craziness that our apartment did back when I was there.  If I had an apartment I'd want theirs- full of cool stuff and comfy and kinda messy and not pretentious.  We all sat and had tea and it was just nice.  We are hoping to set up a weekend when we could all go to a Werder Bremen game and cook and spend some more fun times.

Sorry my blog is so crappily written today-  I am sick and have been since I got back to Hamburg.  I knew that was going to happen, in my experience whenever I spend an entire weekend partying and being generally unhealthy, I immediately get sick.  And when I am sick, I can't think very well.  This is indicated by my choppy sentences mostly beginning with "I."

I found fifteen euros in my other jacket's pockets today!  That was awesome.  I went and bought desperately needed food, including an eggplant.  It looks pretty.  Almost as pretty as my roses on my windowsill.

The importance of umbrellas

Note to self:  ALWAYS prepare for rain whilst living in Hamburg.  Here's why.

Today started off fine, it was sunny when I woke up and still sunny as I prepared to meet a fellow Couchsurfer (will explain later) Julien for lunch.  I thought to myself, why not get some exercise and ride your bike to Altona?  Good idea, self!

Well, I drew myself a little map and set off on my bike towards Altona, where Julien lives.  And the minute I realized I was lost, it started to downpour. Totally downpour.  By the time I found my way to his building, I was soaked.  He answered the door and I must've looked like, well, a very not dry person.  I toweled myself off and we ate food and talked about dinosaurs and volcanoes and whether spiders have hearts and other cool stuff. 

Then, I headed to St. Pauli, which is next to Altona, to meet Lothar's friend Robert for coffee.  OF COURSE it started to rain on my way there, so by the time I got there I was totally soaked again.  Robert was nice enough to lend me a raincoat, because after coffee I had to go through Altona to Ottensen, to visit a new apartment.  And naturally it rained, and of course I got lost again, because despite my decent map-drawing and map-reading skills, Hamburg is a pain in the ass in terms of finding new places.  Some streets aren't obviously marked, and there are a lot of 5-point intersections and crazy fork-in-the-roads that trip you up, especially on a bicycle. AND to make matters worse, the silver thing on my bike that holds my bag broke midway and I had to fix it by wrapping my lock around it.  Go figure that my bike would freakin break while I'm already having a ridiculous day.  So I arrived at the apartment in Ottensen twenty minutes late, this time wearing a giant men's raincoat. 

The apartment was adorable.  The girl who is moving out is going to Alaska for seven months to see her boyfriend, so I would get her room.  And the girl I'd be living with is named Bente, and she's 19 and seems pretty quiet but still nice and relaxed.  The apartment is really cool, kind of like a farmhouse feeling...a gorgeous wooden floor and and really great location.  Anyway,  it got dark and I had to visit another apartment in Hamm-Nord, so I ended up leaving my bike in Ottensen and taking the S-Bahn to Hamm-Nord, walking in the rain to the next apartment.  

This apartment was fantastic too!  Everything was really pretty, with red and orange in the living room and blue and green in my potential room.  Steffi, the girl I'd be living with, is super nice and easy-going, and I made sure to ask her questions about her preferences because of my current asshole of a flatmate.  The apartment was super, but Hamm-Nord is pretty boring.  So who knows what's gonna happen.  I liked both apartments, but we'll see who calls back wanting me to move in.

Anyway, I really hope that I don't get sick from being cold and wet all day.  Tomorrow Dan and I are going to Bremen and it's gonna rule.  It's Freimarkt festival!  Thus, I will not post again until Monday.

ALSO:

Thanks for the suggestion, Emily!  I will try to find those magic erasers.

GO PHILLIES!  Finally...a World Series...I am beyond ecstatic.

I don't know if I said this already but I sent in my absentee ballot!  I even researched the stuff like auditor general and whatnot so I could make informed decisions about the PA candidates I didn't know.  Ya'll best be votin' too.

Me=screwed

Last night I think I lost a couple years of my life from freaking out.  As by now would seem apparent, I'm terrified of my flatmate.  Do you recall the incident regarding the paint on my walls? How it was "very expensive" despite its similarity to the color of wet concrete?

I got red wine on it.

I'm not surprised this happened.  It's only logical, given the events as of late.  She tells me I can't hang anything on my walls, yells at me for not cleaning well enough, I promptly get red wine on my walls.  

I was trying to open this wine and the cork got messed up and wine splattered onto the wall.  I frantically got a sponge and soap, and I got most of the color off, but now the wall just looks like it has some dirty patches.  Throughout my panic I was talking to Dan on Skype and he kept assuring me it would be okay.  I found out today that he thought I was talking about white wine.  Red wine in the hands of a klutzy person like me should be avoided.  I nearly always spill it on something because I get so nervous with fear of spilling that, well, it gets on stuff.  I just kept thinking to myself, "she's gonna kill me. holy shit. oh, no."  Basically...I really hope she never notices.  Or I am massively screwed.

On a side note-  I am not the cleanest person in the world, but I do think that I can be tidy when I apply myself.  But seriously, when I look at the closet full of cleaning products I am lost.  Reinigungsmilch?  What the hell do I use CLEANING MILK for??  Case in point.

GRRRR

Oh, man.  I need to get out of this apartment now.

Yesterday Dan come over to hang out and I dutifully knocked on Vicky's door and said I have a visitor, and she just grumbled "okay."  Woman, it's Saturday night!  I don't know what it's like having your dismal social life, but I personally find it perfectly acceptable to have a beer and watch The Office with my good friend.  Hmph.

Then today, she wakes me up to inform me that I have to clean the apartment and do the laundry today.  Fine.  I can clean, whatever.  So I sift through the massive assortment of cleaning products and clean the kitchen counters, the sinks, the tub, and vacuum the floor.  So I come home (after visiting another WG, ha!) and she tracks me down and chews me out for not cleaning properly.  Apparently I was supposed to WASH the bathroom floors, and the tub wasn't clean enough, and I messed up the settings when I did the wash, etc.  She was like, "did you clean today?" and I said "I thought I did..." and she glared at me like a woman with a piece of coal for a heart.  She went on to say that things have to be clean in this place, and I just said that it seems that my definition of clean is a bit different.  I mean, how the hell am I supposed to even know which products I'm supposed to use?  There's, like, six different detergents, and a giant bin of other stuff.  I can't even figure out what I'm supposed to use to clean the toilet.  So yeah.  I had no idea I was such a slob...I thought I was rather on the tidy side.

I need to get out of this OCD hellhole.  Luckily, tonight I visited another apartment and it was really  awesome.  I hope they take me...I can't stand feeling like a guest in my own place.  I am not paying all these euros a month to be controlled and bossed around like I'm five years old.

FERIEN

HAPPY BERFDAY CHRISTIAN!  I hope it's full of Gary Matthews bliss!

Tomorrow starts the fall ferien (break)!  No class for two whole weeks...what am I going to do with myself?

Well, I'm gonna sleep in and lovingly sip Flensburger and cook delicious yumyums.  I have very little cash money so I'm gonna keep it simple and spend most of the time in Hamburg with a little trip to Bremen inbetwixt various play dates and whatnot.  

Teaching the Förderkurs for the V (11th grade) class is awesome.  There is this group of four boys who, according to their teacher Sandra, "adore me and would marry me."  This is splendid because this little quartet pretty much does my bidding and when the class gets out of hand, they tell everyone to shut up the minute my eyes narrow.  I have to admit, I have a little soft spot for them because although they are jokers, they are adorable and really want to learn English because they think it's real cool.  What more could I want than my own personal minions?

My friend Chelsea, who is an assistant in Flensburg, is coming to visit Hamburg this week.  So I asked Vicky if it would be okay if Chelsea stayed for a night and Vicky was all wary and crap and like "well if it isn't continuous" and I was just thinking GOOD LORD IT IS FOR ONE NIGHT, WOMAN!.   For heaven's sake, she needs to have a beer or a Mexikaner or something and relax.  Of course, after this happened I promptly set up two appointments to visit other WGs that I could potentially move into.  No freakin way am I staying here until July...

By the way, the mushroom sauce I made for dinner tonight was also pretty scrumptious.  I had a little bit of avocado left that wasn't really soft and ripe, and little pieces of that made the sauce pretty cool.  

My mama and pop sent me a package! I got my Dson yearbook (sniffle) and some local licorice and tea and A LITTLE DACHSHUND PLUSHIE!!!  I saw a lady walking a doxie yesterday by the lake and I went up to her and the little doggie jumped on my knee and left a little snot mark on my pants.   I pretty much melted into a vaguely Cait-shaped puddle.  She was very sympathetic when I told her that my little puppies were across the ocean.  See?  She knows the vast hole that not being able to carry a little Belle around under your arm creates.  Or giving a Sadie a hug.  

I know the sentence before last was horrible for a so-called English teacher.  Obviously I have been speaking too much German...it's ruining my sentences.   I am chastened.

jog! then eat!

I just made probably my best cooking accomplishment ever, noodles with spinach sauce.  It was bangin'.  I made it to reward myself because today I jogged around the whole Alster lake! There are some ultra wealthy houses around there.  Holy crap.  I was drooling as I was running.  It was around seven kilometers, which for me is an endeavor.  But it wasn't too terribly difficult.  Although....I have a feeling I'm going to feel it tomorrow.

Today I taught the V class and they were so good!  I like them a lot...they dug my Aesop Rock song and I pounded the difference between simple past and past perfect into their German faces.  It was basically a preparation for their exam that's coming up.  I sort of have my favorites already, but I try not to show that...it's a tie between the V and the LK12 for my favorite class.  We'll see who comes out on top.

I have pretty roses in my room.  It takes away the pain of looking at my bland walls.

A sense of foreboding...

Hmm.  I think my apartment might be a brief experience.

Dan came over yesterday afternoon, because it was Tag der Deutschen Einheit (the anniversary of the reunification) and everything was closed and we were bored.  We made some noodles and watched TV before peacing out to go to Lokstedt.  I got home late, went to Ikea today, and have been chillin out since then.  So my flatmate Vicky comes home from work and is like, "Did you have a friend stay overnight?"  

I say no, a friend was over for a bit but we left and were gone for most of the evening.  And she informs me that whenever I have someone over I have to let her and Marjane (my other flatmate) know beforehand.  Uh, who does that?  Is spontaneity not allowed here? She explains that when people come over they use the toilet or whatever, and that costs money because water in Hamburg is really expensive.  Yeah, I know, but seriously?  This basically means that I can't ever have a party, and that even if a friend swings by the city and needs to stay overnight I have to clear it with my flatmates, even though it's my room and I have to pay 400 effing euros per month for it.   All because Vicky is turbo paranoid about the water bill.  She's pretty obsessed with the fact that the apartment is meant for three people, not four, and that when random people come over it raises the bills, etc.  I get that, but wow.  This is a little too intense for my taste.  This is the kind of thing you rarely discover before moving in...I told Vicky that we'd have to see if this works out, and that if our lifestyles clash too much I will look for another place.  As an adult paying rent, I would prefer some freedom.   And from what I've seen, I think she literally works all the time and has no life.  No big deal if I move out.

I can't even hang up a picture because the paint on my walls is allegedly expensive.  My walls are this kind of ugly shade that's sort of a combination between gray and sand and beige, if that's imaginable.  Who paid a lot of money to paint them that color?  My mother would have an interior decorating complex.  I probably should move out before I let her see it.

Anyway, I'm thinking that I will probably start looking for another room so that I can avoid the potential clashes that are definitely going to happen when friends come stay with me, or (god forbid) if I start dating someone here.  After the winter semester starts at the university it will be easier to find a place since there will be slightly less demand and I'll be able to take my time a little bit.  So I guess be prepared for tales of high-strung flatmates and agitated conversations in German.

On a lighter note, I found a store that sells mystic apparel and accessories, LARP stuff, and other super nerdy shit that I want to take pictures of and snicker at.  If you don't know what larping is, google it.  It's hilarious.

the usual

I'm beat.  I had to teach the ninth-graders today and since Lothar wasn't there, all hell broke loose.  Ugh.  Were we that bad when we were ninth-graders?  I kinda remember being a little afraid of most of my teachers, and if they yelled we freaking shut up immediately.  Mrs. Zehner, anyone?  She could be pretty scary sometimes.  Mrs. Rice?  Mrs. Wilkin? No one dared screw with them.  They would pretty much be in the shit house.

In other news, I used the Aesop Rock song "No Regrets" to teach a lesson on summarizing and analyzing texts yesterday.  For those of you who don't know, it's a rap/hip-hop song.  I was pretty satisfied.

I finally have my own room and today I went to the farm market and got tomatoes and a cucumber and an avocado and yummy bread.  And then I went grocery shopping for my depressingly empty cupboard and got banana juice and olives.  Mmm.

Sorry I haven't been writing as much but this week has been a bit stressful...hooray for the weekend!  PAR-TAY

Plus, going to Ikea with Sandra.  My room is sad and bare, but soon it shall be happy and colorful.  Effervescent, even?

bureaucracy sucks

Apparently a lot of people want to live in Hamburg, because it took me FOUR HOURS to get my visa today.

My mind has been rendered feeble

breaking news!

YES!

Somehow, my camera works again!

Fancy that.

Blah

Phillies won!  Werder Bremen won!  Looks like my kind of weekend, pal.

But WAHHHH I am sad that we don't have Paul Newman anymore.  For my coffee maker at Dickinson I always used to get Newman's Own coffee and I thought to myself, "Man, Paul Newman has been around for forever."  He was a pretty much the definition of a class act.

I bought a copy of Der Kleine Prinz (The Little Prince) at the flea market for fifty cents.  I thought it was about time I read it.  I am kind of brain dead this morning, so I'll just make some lists:

Stuff I miss other than the obvious family, friends, and puppies:

-Having a food processor so I can make delicious hummus.  Oh man, I miss hummus.  The Germans need to catch on to that stuff.

-Having a camera that works

-Working at the bookstore this summer.  It really was kind of fun.

-College.  Enough said.

-Drinkable tap water.  I don't really know how safe the water in Hamburg is, but I guess that since my well water at home in PA is deliciously extra-hard water, I could probably drink the water here and not feel sick.  Sometimes I get sick of the bubbly water everyone drinks in Europe...

-Local PA stuff like Martin's BBQ potato chips.  So unhealthy, so delicious.

Stuff I am thinking about:

-telling my bank that I'm in Europe so they don't put a hold on my account and prevent me from having money

-figuring out how to pay my last cell phone bill since they got rid of my online payments and I suspect a bill was sent to my home in PA

-figuring out that insufferable crap regarding getting a master's degree

-other boring crap that doesn't belong in my blog for it will severely impede its pursuit of awesomeness

Song of the day:  "Lapland" by Ratatat.  Maybe today I'll be extra nerdy and make some fun playlists.  They might be: Skandinavien (weird Scandinavian stuff), Doppelgängers (songs with the same title...this happens a lot, surprisingly enough), and Turbo-Nostalgia Saga with songs from my kid days up until now (that's gonna be an epic one). 

GAHH I am really, REALLY boring today.  Blah.

Lohmühlen

Today was finally sunny and warmer than it has been recently.  I managed to get to school on time for once.    I got my EC bank card so I can get paid cash dollas.

Here's a brief list of the classes I help out:

LK 12 with Conny.  LK=Leistungskurs, sort of similar to an honors course in an American high school.  I like this class more every day.  Yesterday we had a mock press conference and they asked me all kinds of questions about what it's like to live in the US and that seemed to encourage them to talk to me more and not be intimidated (for some reason, I'm intimidating.  Cool!)  These kids are really nice overall.

GK 12 with Lothar.  GK=Grundkurs, or a regular, required course that isn't as intense as the LK.  I have a hard time remembering the people in this course because it's at 8 in the morning and my mind is fuzzy.  They're probably nice, though.  I forget.

V 11 with Sandra.  This is one of my favorites.  It's a bunch of kids from a Realschule, which is like a school inferior to a Gymnasium, or college-prep high school (the school I'm at is called Lohmühlen Gymnasium). Here's the deal:  these kids aren't doing great in English.  They are not stupid and they do try hard, but at the Realschule they simply didn't get much quality English education.  My colleague James from the UK runs a Förderungskurs, or remedial course/extra training course, for kids who need more help learning English.  Now, James' course only has room for maybe 25 kids out of the 100 who probably need it.  The kids had to take a test to get in.  They could score a possible 23 points.  Most of the kids in my V class scored less than 14 and therefore didn't get in.  

I think this is really unfair.  It's not their fault that they got transplanted to a more rigorous Gymnasium, and they need to catch up a bit so they can do well on their Abitur (everyone takes the Abitur test in order to graduate from high school).  And I like these kids a lot.  So today I talked to Sandra about creating my own Förderungskurs for the V class, so that they can get the help they need and improve their grades in English.  She was ecstatic about the idea and we immediately started planning it.  I'm pretty excited about it and I don't mind putting a lot of work into it because I really want to see these kids do well in Gymnasium.  They can give me topics they need help with, like grammar problems or how to form certain sentences, so that they have a say in what we work on.  I'm also going to bring stuff like American music and base lessons off of the lyrics, or use American tv or clips from movies to make the class interesting, because who the hell wants to have to sit through another lecture.  Basically...this class is pretty much my baby.  

Also, Sandra is only 29 or so, and really cool.  She has only been in Hamburg for a year, so we exchanged numbers and stuff so that we can hang out and be friends.  And she even offered to help me get a futon from Ikea for my new room, because she has a car with fold-y seats.  I feel warm and fuzzy.

GK 12 with Beate (pronounced bay-AH-tuh).  I like these kids too...Beate has me correct and grade some of their work. I like her because she's very direct and doesn't bullshit around.  She liked my grading style too, which was reassuring.

7/e with Frau Bauer.  This class is pretty much adorable.  They are well-behaved and use microphones to talk because there is a hearing-impaired kid in the class.  Frau Bauer is also UNBELIEVABLY good-natured and patient.  She disciplines them in such a great way, it's gentle but they actually listen to her.  I gotta observe this one a lot.

8b with Tanja.  THIS CLASS IS FREAKING CRAZY.  It's like, the 8th class of the day and they have RIDICULOUS amounts of energy.  I don't know how Tanja does it.  It took us half an hour to establish that yes, I am American and not German despite my last name. Yes, I can speak German.  Yes, I am a teacher, etc.   They thought it was a prank or something.  One kid is always singing 80s songs in response to the teacher's comments.  They were just out of their minds.  It was the most mind-draining class ever.  Except for one boy who did not speak at all.  Bless him.

9/e with Lothar.  I'm starting to get to know these kids better.  I graded a bunch of homework and today Lothar had me spend ten minutes or so reviewing the difference between "then" and "than," subject-verb agreement, and the difference between "perverted" and "perverse."  They behaved pretty well, which gets them a thumbs-up from me.

My camera still isn't working. :(

To Shannon:  BANANA JUICE IS DELICIOUS.  You be trippin'.

crappy mornings

Every morning this week has been craptastic, it's been raining and I got lost the first time I rode my bike to school and then this morning my water bottle in my pack opened before I got to my bike and I had to run home and change bags and my camera got all wet and won't turn on anymore and I had to run to the subway to get to school in time.  BLAHHH

That said, I lost my motivation to type now, so I think I will have some banana juice and go to bed.  I am wholesome.

My freeloading days have an expiration date!

I HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE!  YAY

After being rejected from my first attempt at finding a WG, I am finally successful.  I'll be living about five minutes away from my school, in the Lange Reihe street (translates as "long row").  My flatmates are Vicky, a German girl of African descent (I can't remember where her parents are from, but she has a fun accent) and some other chick  (she wasn't there, so I don't know her name).  Vicky said I was super swell and called me up and offered me the room half an hour after I left the apartment.  And my room has furniture!  I get a bed and a desk and a closet and a TV AND a mirror.  I can't wait to put stuff on my walls.  Oh man.  My room is going to rule.  Plus, there is a washing machine.

In other news, Dan and Amy and I went clubbing last night.  And we were the best dancers in that joint, because most people here just can't dance.  At home I usually dance stupid on purpose, because it's more embarrassing to bust some good moves than it is to purposely look like an idiot.  Especially in front of all your family...unlike my sister Shannon would tell you, I do NOT look like Ellen DeGeneres when I dance at a club.   

Oh, and I named my bike Sprite, because it's lemon and lime colored.  And it's a she.  Duh. 

POW!

I own a bike!!  I bought it at the flea market today all by myself.  It is lime green and small enough so I don't fall off.  Now I don't have to spend dolla bills on all these insufferable subway tickets!

Yesterday I went with Lothar and some of his friends to the St. Pauli game.  But I should probably explain some stuff.  The two biggest soccer (Fußball

) leagues in Germany are the 1. (erste, first) Bundesliga and the 2. (zweite, second) Bundesliga.  Hamburg has two major teams: HSV (1. Bundesliga) and St. Pauli (2. Bundesliga).  A lot of people, however, dislike HSV because the fans tend to be right-wing and aggressive, and the team sometimes plays dirty Fußball.  So St. Pauli is very beloved by many Hamburgers because the games are peaceful and positive and the team is, well, just a nice team.    Also, many people who dislike HSV support Werder Bremen, HSV's rival and my favorite team.  This is probably really biased, so hopefully no HSV-lovers are reading this entry or I might have to carry a taser or something.  SOOOO I get to go to St. Pauli games and STILL love my beloved Werder without being harassed about it!  Can it get better?

Yes.  Yes, it can.  Check out St. Pauli's badass logo:

Who wants to mess with that?  Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, the game was a lot of fun.  The fans have like a million songs they sing, but my personal favorite moments were when they sang "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again," substituting most of the lyrics with "la" and "St. Pauli." Or, their rendition of "Hey Jude," again substituting words with "la" and and a syllabicly awkward "St. Pauli." And when St. Pauli scores, everyone rocks out to Blur's "Song 2," composed predominately of loud guitar and "WOO-HOO"s.  And take note: St. Pauli is pronounced "sahnkt POW-lee," with "POW" rhyming with plow.

To make things even more interesting, many St. Pauli fans have, historically, been pretty left-wing.  So amongst the big flags that fans waved were flags bearing the St. Pauli colors and an assortment of symbols:  Che Guevara's face, the hammer and sickle, a marijuana plant, and the Jamaican flag.  I was pretty entertained just looking around.

Anyway, St. Pauli won the game, 1-0.  Booya.

Add another beer to the list:  Holsten, a beer brewed in Hamburg and one that actually comes in a can.  It was okay.  I didn't actually feel like having a beer, but everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted banana juice.  You might laugh too...but I LOVE banana juice.  Hmph.

A puppy-shaped hole in my world

Man, I miss having my cuddle buddies around.  I guess I really need to get a boyfriend or something.  Or kidnap someone's dogs?

Homies

Hi.

Today I went on the class trip to Bremen.  The whole freaking school rented a train.  A whole train.  We went to the bombass Universum Science Center, where I made a seriously bangin' domino trail to demonstrate the effects of something scientific.  I had an AUDIENCE, man!  All these middle-aged adults watched me do it and then clapped for me when all the blocks fell the right way.  I have domino prowess.

Funniest quote of the day:

"Na, Celam, hast du alles im Griff?  Deine Homies im Auge?" -Lothar to a smallish, chubby-ish Turkish student on the train.  What this translates into is: "Well, Celam?  Ya got everything under control?  Got your homies in sight?"  Celam laughs and points to group of his Turkish friends with mullets.  HOMIES

I am currently looking for apartments.  I visited one WG (Wohngemeinschaft, which is a couple people sharing an apartment or house) last night.  It was in the Schanze, which is a boppin area with a lot of cool restaurants and bars and students.  Two girls, both 23, both super nice.  We got along well, I think...I described my interests (ex. Clueso, Werder Bremen, Haake Beck and Jever beer, cooking, nice relaxed bars) and they were pretty enthusiastic.  And the apartment is really nice.   Unfortunately the Schanze is a really popular district, so they have a lot of people to interview for the room.  I'll find out on Saturday, so until then, you best be wishing me luck.  I'll give you my left kidney if it works.

Still haven't taken any pictures.  This will happen one day, I promise.  

Also, why have I never watched 30 Rock before?  That show is hilarious.  I can't stop watching it when I should be sleeping.

I am beaming

Yo peeps.  I just had to pop in and say that i am essentially falling in lurrrv with hamburg.  I just got back from jogging in Planten und Blomen (a park whose name is Plattdeutsch for Pflanzen und Blumen, which means plants and flowers.  Plattdeutsch is a northern German dialect) and it was absolutely gorgeous, with canals and lots of bridges and stairs leading to the water.  For Dickinson people:  I almost tripped because they even have gray chairs that look very similar to our red Adirondacks!  AND to excite me even more (is that possible?) there were Chinese musicians playing pretty Chinese traditional music.  *beams*

I'm happy =D

Also, I saw my first tranny today!!!!!  *beams again*

Beer. Weekend adventures

I decided to start a list of all the delicious beers I have been enjoying, so that by the end of the year I can remember which ones I liked!  So in my first week here, I've already got eight under my belt:

Kölsch (beer from Köln area)

Carlsberg (really great beer from Copenhagen)

Jever (popular in Hamburg and Lothar's favorite)

Astra (also from Hamburg)

Lübzer Pils (consumed post-flight...I don't even remember if I liked it)

Bitburger (a lot like Kölsch)

Warsteiner (liked this one a lot)

Flensburger Pilsener (my favorite thus far)

It's been a rather beer-filled weekend...on Friday Lothar and Anne and I went to the theater to see Kaballe & Liebe (from Schiller)...Anne's sister Christa was part of the stage crew so we got free tickets!  Too bad the acoustics were a bit rough and they had a lot of older German words that I didn't know, so I didn't really understand too much of the dialogue.  But it was fun nonetheless...then afterwards we got some YUMMY Chinese food down the street from the apartment...it was great because it was real Chinese food, not the crappy stuff.  Then we went to a sort of a dive bar called St. Pauli Eck, aka Brigitte's (Brigitte is the bartender) and had beer and Mexikaner, which are shots of Korn and tomato juice and pepper and taste disturbingly like liquid pizza, meaning that they were freaking awesome.  I would rather have a Mexikaner than eat a pizza...well we were pretty loopy after that and we all went home and I probably went on Wikipedia or something before falling asleep and waking up with a little headache...

Anyway yesterday we also went to a flea market (of which there are TONS in Hamburg) and I got a Warren Zevon cd for like four euros...we walked around all day in the sun and I really need to remember to bring my camera and put some pictures on this thing.  We made pasta and salad and some friends came over and we all ate supper and watched soccer on the tv, and Werder Bremen won 3-0 so we had a celebratory Schnapps.  I will write more about soccer later because the sentiments are really quite interesting in Hamburg.

Anne and Lothar have a foosball table so we also played that and then we all went to Eldorado, a really cozy bar with red lighting and cool retro-style wallpaper and stuff, and we had some beer and hung out.  The bartender was freaking MASSIVE.  I kid you not, she must have been nearly seven feet tall.  Her HEAD practically touched the ceiling.  I felt like I was on that tv show Little People, Big World because I literally barely came up to her hips.  Sigh.

Tonight we're making Pfifferlinge, which are these little mushrooms that used to be in all the forests in Germany and are quite beloved here.  But since there aren't as many forests, and the forests are always being replanted, the roots of the mushrooms only grow in certain areas and thus they are more scarce.  They usually come from Poland or Russia now because of that and they only grow in summer.  Pfifferlinge with garlic, onions, and noodles is pretty much bliss for me...Imma eat a BIG OL BOWL OF IT

Easy German of the day:

Ja, eben.  (ya, ei-bin):  Similar to "for real" or "fo realz."   I say this a lot.

Fremdschäme (fremd-shay-ma): when you are embarrassed for someone else.  Think of watching Michael Scott say something horribly awkward on The Office.  You are probably experiencing a feeling of Fremdschäme.

fun Hamburg fact of the day:  often the S-Bahn (above-ground subway) is underground and the U-Bahn (subway) goes above ground

Game Show, Nothing Else of Substance

Back in Hamburg!

I am living (for now) with my Betreuungslehrer (mentor) Lothar and his lady friend Anne in the happenin' district of St. Pauli.  Anne and I made some din-din and Lothar came home and we had some Flensburger Pilsener and hung out.  They're only maybe thirty or in their early thirties, so we get along pretty great so far.  There are a bunch of sex-related shops and theaters and brothels by the Reeperbahn, which is exactly one minute away by foot, so I get to see some pretty ridiculous stuff.  But that'll be another post...

Altenberg was lots of fun!  I met some super peeps and now have friends all over Germany that I can visit and go on trips with and make mischief.  Although now I'm a bit social-ed out...being trapped in a cloister with 140 people can make a one weary.

I don't have too much else to say today, other than I forgot to mention that I saw this thing on TV in Köln that was this quiz show, but it was just this puzzle on the screen with some chick standing next to it.  She urges the viewers to think harder and call in to win money and stuff, which all seems a bit normal UNTIL I discovered that she also gradually removes her clothing throughout the show.  The phone was ringing off the hook...so I just watched it.  It was either that or the German dubbed version of Bad Boys II.

ANYWAY I need to spiff up meself for tomorrow so that I'm not greasy and offensive for the school...off to the shower!

WOAH INTERWEBS

Contrary to what I thought, I have managed a bit of web time down here in Altenberg, where my orientation is going on at a KLOSTER, which is a big ol' church complex that used to have nuns and stuff.  Oh boy!

Anyway, to clarify the roll thing, I forgot that you're not supposed to eat on public transport, and that many Germans are not afraid to yell at strangers breaking rules.  So random guy tells me to put my roll in the trash and I was like PISS OFF and put it in my purse.  And then he shut up.  Hmph.

Oh, and to clarify the Wok-Man thing, say it aloud with a German accent.  Think of a popular early nineties audio device.  Chortle and chuckle

Also, for those who are confused Dan is a friend who went to Dickinson and to Bremen with me, and we like to act stupid and make mischief.  Here is a recent quote from Dan, upon reminiscing about our Bremen group's experience of accidentally getting drinks at a tranny bar:  "I mean, if I were a female, I would be a lesbian.  But I would really like trannies because they're the best of everything."

As you can see, Dan is very astute.  I'm sorry for subjecting you to that.

So currently I'm in the boonies of Germany at a former nunnery with 140 or so other assistants.  And on the bus here there was this British girl with a booming voice who WOULD NOT SHUT UP.  And some girl who was saying how she's a vegetarian but then proceeded to babble positively about eating Rocky Mountain oysters.  I'm sorry, but no amount of bread crumbs or sauce will EVER get me to eat that.  No way.   And for anyone who knows me at all, this girl obviously got on my bad side.  Vegetarian MY BUTT!

I forgot my camera because I always forget my camera, so no piccies yet.  Expect maybe this, because I miss playing with Sadie:

thank to everyone who is reading!  it means a lot to po' ol me.  And here's your German education of the day!

He Alter! [pronounced like "hey alta"] :  Hey Dude!

Very, very useful.  Oh, and a parting gift!!

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videold=184086&title=sarah-palin-gender-card

BYE

-c

IN KÖLN OMG11!!!111

Dan and I are in Köln and since we are on meager internet cafe minutes, here is a quick list of weird stuff we have seen in Köln:

-at kfc, there is a giant sign that says "BOXMASTER"
-a chinese restaurant called "WOK-MAN"
-an old lady barking like a dog
-a giant neon sign of a face drinking a beer
-a shop called "lady's toys"
-Germans seem to be vaguely sympathic to hurricanes and think that people who live in their paths are dumb. They like to remind us of this.
-My mentor has a painting of Stewie from Family Guy in his living room. AWESOME
-Speaking of Family Guy, the dubbed German voices are AWFUL. And Quagmire doesn't even say "giggidy."

NOTE TO SELF: Germans are NOT afraid to yell at´people who break rules like eating a roll on a tram. It is freaking scary to be yelled at by a random German. How did I manage to forget that little fact? (Yes. I ate a roll on the tram. When the guy told me to put it in the trash I glared and put it in my purse. I was NOT going to give up my roll)

I possibly won't have internet for the next few days unless I get my bum to a net cafe, so get pumped for a sweet entry at the end of the week.

ciao
caitlin

Commence the Invasion

After barfing in too many airplane toilets for my liking, I HAVE ARRIVED!

Yeah, it seems that recently I’ve developed an intolerance for flying in airplanes.  The large Indian man behind me won’t let me recline my chair, making sleep almost impossible in a 90-degree body position (despite sleep enhancers and complimentary red wine; thanks, British Airways!).  The boy next to me wants to use the toilet and almost spills my wine everywhere in the process, and I experience a brief feeling of terror as I peer behind the seat, hoping the wine has not stained the Indian man’s khaki pants.  I poke at my dinner and eat some rice, promptly expelling it afterwards via my throat. MEAN NASTY AIRPLANES 

Relief upon relief!  I am fetched by Lothar and Anne (my mentor and his woman).  They live in the St. Pauli district, which is peppered with sex shops (due to its close proximity to the Reeperbahn—more on that later) and tasty döner kebaps (gyro stands).  We wander around a bit and eat and have espresso; my prayers are thus answered.  A street fair boasts many trendy teenagers in skinny jeans and emo scarves, plus an array of people wearing pretty spiffy sneaks and sporting even spiffier haircuts.  Once when I worked in the Writing Center at Dickinson I read a paper in which the author used the word “spiffier” to describe a character’s actions.  I therefore use it now in homage to the poorly written English papers of yore.

In the attempt to feebly hang on to my sparse readership, I will try to document more interesting things than my  puke-tastic plane rides and boring daily activities.  Pictures await you!  Strange German tales will be told!  A fanbase will be created and rendered into minions to do my every bidding! 

That said, I’m beat.  One last thing:  a person from Hamburg is called a Hamburger or Hamburgerin.  It is, much to my disappointment, not a metropolis populated by walking sandwich-like entrees.