bureaucracy sucks

Apparently a lot of people want to live in Hamburg, because it took me FOUR HOURS to get my visa today.

My mind has been rendered feeble

breaking news!

YES!

Somehow, my camera works again!

Fancy that.

Blah

Phillies won!  Werder Bremen won!  Looks like my kind of weekend, pal.

But WAHHHH I am sad that we don't have Paul Newman anymore.  For my coffee maker at Dickinson I always used to get Newman's Own coffee and I thought to myself, "Man, Paul Newman has been around for forever."  He was a pretty much the definition of a class act.

I bought a copy of Der Kleine Prinz (The Little Prince) at the flea market for fifty cents.  I thought it was about time I read it.  I am kind of brain dead this morning, so I'll just make some lists:

Stuff I miss other than the obvious family, friends, and puppies:

-Having a food processor so I can make delicious hummus.  Oh man, I miss hummus.  The Germans need to catch on to that stuff.

-Having a camera that works

-Working at the bookstore this summer.  It really was kind of fun.

-College.  Enough said.

-Drinkable tap water.  I don't really know how safe the water in Hamburg is, but I guess that since my well water at home in PA is deliciously extra-hard water, I could probably drink the water here and not feel sick.  Sometimes I get sick of the bubbly water everyone drinks in Europe...

-Local PA stuff like Martin's BBQ potato chips.  So unhealthy, so delicious.

Stuff I am thinking about:

-telling my bank that I'm in Europe so they don't put a hold on my account and prevent me from having money

-figuring out how to pay my last cell phone bill since they got rid of my online payments and I suspect a bill was sent to my home in PA

-figuring out that insufferable crap regarding getting a master's degree

-other boring crap that doesn't belong in my blog for it will severely impede its pursuit of awesomeness

Song of the day:  "Lapland" by Ratatat.  Maybe today I'll be extra nerdy and make some fun playlists.  They might be: Skandinavien (weird Scandinavian stuff), Doppelgängers (songs with the same title...this happens a lot, surprisingly enough), and Turbo-Nostalgia Saga with songs from my kid days up until now (that's gonna be an epic one). 

GAHH I am really, REALLY boring today.  Blah.

Lohmühlen

Today was finally sunny and warmer than it has been recently.  I managed to get to school on time for once.    I got my EC bank card so I can get paid cash dollas.

Here's a brief list of the classes I help out:

LK 12 with Conny.  LK=Leistungskurs, sort of similar to an honors course in an American high school.  I like this class more every day.  Yesterday we had a mock press conference and they asked me all kinds of questions about what it's like to live in the US and that seemed to encourage them to talk to me more and not be intimidated (for some reason, I'm intimidating.  Cool!)  These kids are really nice overall.

GK 12 with Lothar.  GK=Grundkurs, or a regular, required course that isn't as intense as the LK.  I have a hard time remembering the people in this course because it's at 8 in the morning and my mind is fuzzy.  They're probably nice, though.  I forget.

V 11 with Sandra.  This is one of my favorites.  It's a bunch of kids from a Realschule, which is like a school inferior to a Gymnasium, or college-prep high school (the school I'm at is called Lohmühlen Gymnasium). Here's the deal:  these kids aren't doing great in English.  They are not stupid and they do try hard, but at the Realschule they simply didn't get much quality English education.  My colleague James from the UK runs a Förderungskurs, or remedial course/extra training course, for kids who need more help learning English.  Now, James' course only has room for maybe 25 kids out of the 100 who probably need it.  The kids had to take a test to get in.  They could score a possible 23 points.  Most of the kids in my V class scored less than 14 and therefore didn't get in.  

I think this is really unfair.  It's not their fault that they got transplanted to a more rigorous Gymnasium, and they need to catch up a bit so they can do well on their Abitur (everyone takes the Abitur test in order to graduate from high school).  And I like these kids a lot.  So today I talked to Sandra about creating my own Förderungskurs for the V class, so that they can get the help they need and improve their grades in English.  She was ecstatic about the idea and we immediately started planning it.  I'm pretty excited about it and I don't mind putting a lot of work into it because I really want to see these kids do well in Gymnasium.  They can give me topics they need help with, like grammar problems or how to form certain sentences, so that they have a say in what we work on.  I'm also going to bring stuff like American music and base lessons off of the lyrics, or use American tv or clips from movies to make the class interesting, because who the hell wants to have to sit through another lecture.  Basically...this class is pretty much my baby.  

Also, Sandra is only 29 or so, and really cool.  She has only been in Hamburg for a year, so we exchanged numbers and stuff so that we can hang out and be friends.  And she even offered to help me get a futon from Ikea for my new room, because she has a car with fold-y seats.  I feel warm and fuzzy.

GK 12 with Beate (pronounced bay-AH-tuh).  I like these kids too...Beate has me correct and grade some of their work. I like her because she's very direct and doesn't bullshit around.  She liked my grading style too, which was reassuring.

7/e with Frau Bauer.  This class is pretty much adorable.  They are well-behaved and use microphones to talk because there is a hearing-impaired kid in the class.  Frau Bauer is also UNBELIEVABLY good-natured and patient.  She disciplines them in such a great way, it's gentle but they actually listen to her.  I gotta observe this one a lot.

8b with Tanja.  THIS CLASS IS FREAKING CRAZY.  It's like, the 8th class of the day and they have RIDICULOUS amounts of energy.  I don't know how Tanja does it.  It took us half an hour to establish that yes, I am American and not German despite my last name. Yes, I can speak German.  Yes, I am a teacher, etc.   They thought it was a prank or something.  One kid is always singing 80s songs in response to the teacher's comments.  They were just out of their minds.  It was the most mind-draining class ever.  Except for one boy who did not speak at all.  Bless him.

9/e with Lothar.  I'm starting to get to know these kids better.  I graded a bunch of homework and today Lothar had me spend ten minutes or so reviewing the difference between "then" and "than," subject-verb agreement, and the difference between "perverted" and "perverse."  They behaved pretty well, which gets them a thumbs-up from me.

My camera still isn't working. :(

To Shannon:  BANANA JUICE IS DELICIOUS.  You be trippin'.

crappy mornings

Every morning this week has been craptastic, it's been raining and I got lost the first time I rode my bike to school and then this morning my water bottle in my pack opened before I got to my bike and I had to run home and change bags and my camera got all wet and won't turn on anymore and I had to run to the subway to get to school in time.  BLAHHH

That said, I lost my motivation to type now, so I think I will have some banana juice and go to bed.  I am wholesome.

My freeloading days have an expiration date!

I HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE!  YAY

After being rejected from my first attempt at finding a WG, I am finally successful.  I'll be living about five minutes away from my school, in the Lange Reihe street (translates as "long row").  My flatmates are Vicky, a German girl of African descent (I can't remember where her parents are from, but she has a fun accent) and some other chick  (she wasn't there, so I don't know her name).  Vicky said I was super swell and called me up and offered me the room half an hour after I left the apartment.  And my room has furniture!  I get a bed and a desk and a closet and a TV AND a mirror.  I can't wait to put stuff on my walls.  Oh man.  My room is going to rule.  Plus, there is a washing machine.

In other news, Dan and Amy and I went clubbing last night.  And we were the best dancers in that joint, because most people here just can't dance.  At home I usually dance stupid on purpose, because it's more embarrassing to bust some good moves than it is to purposely look like an idiot.  Especially in front of all your family...unlike my sister Shannon would tell you, I do NOT look like Ellen DeGeneres when I dance at a club.   

Oh, and I named my bike Sprite, because it's lemon and lime colored.  And it's a she.  Duh. 

POW!

I own a bike!!  I bought it at the flea market today all by myself.  It is lime green and small enough so I don't fall off.  Now I don't have to spend dolla bills on all these insufferable subway tickets!

Yesterday I went with Lothar and some of his friends to the St. Pauli game.  But I should probably explain some stuff.  The two biggest soccer (Fußball

) leagues in Germany are the 1. (erste, first) Bundesliga and the 2. (zweite, second) Bundesliga.  Hamburg has two major teams: HSV (1. Bundesliga) and St. Pauli (2. Bundesliga).  A lot of people, however, dislike HSV because the fans tend to be right-wing and aggressive, and the team sometimes plays dirty Fußball.  So St. Pauli is very beloved by many Hamburgers because the games are peaceful and positive and the team is, well, just a nice team.    Also, many people who dislike HSV support Werder Bremen, HSV's rival and my favorite team.  This is probably really biased, so hopefully no HSV-lovers are reading this entry or I might have to carry a taser or something.  SOOOO I get to go to St. Pauli games and STILL love my beloved Werder without being harassed about it!  Can it get better?

Yes.  Yes, it can.  Check out St. Pauli's badass logo:

Who wants to mess with that?  Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, the game was a lot of fun.  The fans have like a million songs they sing, but my personal favorite moments were when they sang "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again," substituting most of the lyrics with "la" and "St. Pauli." Or, their rendition of "Hey Jude," again substituting words with "la" and and a syllabicly awkward "St. Pauli." And when St. Pauli scores, everyone rocks out to Blur's "Song 2," composed predominately of loud guitar and "WOO-HOO"s.  And take note: St. Pauli is pronounced "sahnkt POW-lee," with "POW" rhyming with plow.

To make things even more interesting, many St. Pauli fans have, historically, been pretty left-wing.  So amongst the big flags that fans waved were flags bearing the St. Pauli colors and an assortment of symbols:  Che Guevara's face, the hammer and sickle, a marijuana plant, and the Jamaican flag.  I was pretty entertained just looking around.

Anyway, St. Pauli won the game, 1-0.  Booya.

Add another beer to the list:  Holsten, a beer brewed in Hamburg and one that actually comes in a can.  It was okay.  I didn't actually feel like having a beer, but everyone laughed at me when I said I wanted banana juice.  You might laugh too...but I LOVE banana juice.  Hmph.

A puppy-shaped hole in my world

Man, I miss having my cuddle buddies around.  I guess I really need to get a boyfriend or something.  Or kidnap someone's dogs?

Homies

Hi.

Today I went on the class trip to Bremen.  The whole freaking school rented a train.  A whole train.  We went to the bombass Universum Science Center, where I made a seriously bangin' domino trail to demonstrate the effects of something scientific.  I had an AUDIENCE, man!  All these middle-aged adults watched me do it and then clapped for me when all the blocks fell the right way.  I have domino prowess.

Funniest quote of the day:

"Na, Celam, hast du alles im Griff?  Deine Homies im Auge?" -Lothar to a smallish, chubby-ish Turkish student on the train.  What this translates into is: "Well, Celam?  Ya got everything under control?  Got your homies in sight?"  Celam laughs and points to group of his Turkish friends with mullets.  HOMIES

I am currently looking for apartments.  I visited one WG (Wohngemeinschaft, which is a couple people sharing an apartment or house) last night.  It was in the Schanze, which is a boppin area with a lot of cool restaurants and bars and students.  Two girls, both 23, both super nice.  We got along well, I think...I described my interests (ex. Clueso, Werder Bremen, Haake Beck and Jever beer, cooking, nice relaxed bars) and they were pretty enthusiastic.  And the apartment is really nice.   Unfortunately the Schanze is a really popular district, so they have a lot of people to interview for the room.  I'll find out on Saturday, so until then, you best be wishing me luck.  I'll give you my left kidney if it works.

Still haven't taken any pictures.  This will happen one day, I promise.  

Also, why have I never watched 30 Rock before?  That show is hilarious.  I can't stop watching it when I should be sleeping.

I am beaming

Yo peeps.  I just had to pop in and say that i am essentially falling in lurrrv with hamburg.  I just got back from jogging in Planten und Blomen (a park whose name is Plattdeutsch for Pflanzen und Blumen, which means plants and flowers.  Plattdeutsch is a northern German dialect) and it was absolutely gorgeous, with canals and lots of bridges and stairs leading to the water.  For Dickinson people:  I almost tripped because they even have gray chairs that look very similar to our red Adirondacks!  AND to excite me even more (is that possible?) there were Chinese musicians playing pretty Chinese traditional music.  *beams*

I'm happy =D

Also, I saw my first tranny today!!!!!  *beams again*

Beer. Weekend adventures

I decided to start a list of all the delicious beers I have been enjoying, so that by the end of the year I can remember which ones I liked!  So in my first week here, I've already got eight under my belt:

Kölsch (beer from Köln area)

Carlsberg (really great beer from Copenhagen)

Jever (popular in Hamburg and Lothar's favorite)

Astra (also from Hamburg)

Lübzer Pils (consumed post-flight...I don't even remember if I liked it)

Bitburger (a lot like Kölsch)

Warsteiner (liked this one a lot)

Flensburger Pilsener (my favorite thus far)

It's been a rather beer-filled weekend...on Friday Lothar and Anne and I went to the theater to see Kaballe & Liebe (from Schiller)...Anne's sister Christa was part of the stage crew so we got free tickets!  Too bad the acoustics were a bit rough and they had a lot of older German words that I didn't know, so I didn't really understand too much of the dialogue.  But it was fun nonetheless...then afterwards we got some YUMMY Chinese food down the street from the apartment...it was great because it was real Chinese food, not the crappy stuff.  Then we went to a sort of a dive bar called St. Pauli Eck, aka Brigitte's (Brigitte is the bartender) and had beer and Mexikaner, which are shots of Korn and tomato juice and pepper and taste disturbingly like liquid pizza, meaning that they were freaking awesome.  I would rather have a Mexikaner than eat a pizza...well we were pretty loopy after that and we all went home and I probably went on Wikipedia or something before falling asleep and waking up with a little headache...

Anyway yesterday we also went to a flea market (of which there are TONS in Hamburg) and I got a Warren Zevon cd for like four euros...we walked around all day in the sun and I really need to remember to bring my camera and put some pictures on this thing.  We made pasta and salad and some friends came over and we all ate supper and watched soccer on the tv, and Werder Bremen won 3-0 so we had a celebratory Schnapps.  I will write more about soccer later because the sentiments are really quite interesting in Hamburg.

Anne and Lothar have a foosball table so we also played that and then we all went to Eldorado, a really cozy bar with red lighting and cool retro-style wallpaper and stuff, and we had some beer and hung out.  The bartender was freaking MASSIVE.  I kid you not, she must have been nearly seven feet tall.  Her HEAD practically touched the ceiling.  I felt like I was on that tv show Little People, Big World because I literally barely came up to her hips.  Sigh.

Tonight we're making Pfifferlinge, which are these little mushrooms that used to be in all the forests in Germany and are quite beloved here.  But since there aren't as many forests, and the forests are always being replanted, the roots of the mushrooms only grow in certain areas and thus they are more scarce.  They usually come from Poland or Russia now because of that and they only grow in summer.  Pfifferlinge with garlic, onions, and noodles is pretty much bliss for me...Imma eat a BIG OL BOWL OF IT

Easy German of the day:

Ja, eben.  (ya, ei-bin):  Similar to "for real" or "fo realz."   I say this a lot.

Fremdschäme (fremd-shay-ma): when you are embarrassed for someone else.  Think of watching Michael Scott say something horribly awkward on The Office.  You are probably experiencing a feeling of Fremdschäme.

fun Hamburg fact of the day:  often the S-Bahn (above-ground subway) is underground and the U-Bahn (subway) goes above ground

Game Show, Nothing Else of Substance

Back in Hamburg!

I am living (for now) with my Betreuungslehrer (mentor) Lothar and his lady friend Anne in the happenin' district of St. Pauli.  Anne and I made some din-din and Lothar came home and we had some Flensburger Pilsener and hung out.  They're only maybe thirty or in their early thirties, so we get along pretty great so far.  There are a bunch of sex-related shops and theaters and brothels by the Reeperbahn, which is exactly one minute away by foot, so I get to see some pretty ridiculous stuff.  But that'll be another post...

Altenberg was lots of fun!  I met some super peeps and now have friends all over Germany that I can visit and go on trips with and make mischief.  Although now I'm a bit social-ed out...being trapped in a cloister with 140 people can make a one weary.

I don't have too much else to say today, other than I forgot to mention that I saw this thing on TV in Köln that was this quiz show, but it was just this puzzle on the screen with some chick standing next to it.  She urges the viewers to think harder and call in to win money and stuff, which all seems a bit normal UNTIL I discovered that she also gradually removes her clothing throughout the show.  The phone was ringing off the hook...so I just watched it.  It was either that or the German dubbed version of Bad Boys II.

ANYWAY I need to spiff up meself for tomorrow so that I'm not greasy and offensive for the school...off to the shower!

WOAH INTERWEBS

Contrary to what I thought, I have managed a bit of web time down here in Altenberg, where my orientation is going on at a KLOSTER, which is a big ol' church complex that used to have nuns and stuff.  Oh boy!

Anyway, to clarify the roll thing, I forgot that you're not supposed to eat on public transport, and that many Germans are not afraid to yell at strangers breaking rules.  So random guy tells me to put my roll in the trash and I was like PISS OFF and put it in my purse.  And then he shut up.  Hmph.

Oh, and to clarify the Wok-Man thing, say it aloud with a German accent.  Think of a popular early nineties audio device.  Chortle and chuckle

Also, for those who are confused Dan is a friend who went to Dickinson and to Bremen with me, and we like to act stupid and make mischief.  Here is a recent quote from Dan, upon reminiscing about our Bremen group's experience of accidentally getting drinks at a tranny bar:  "I mean, if I were a female, I would be a lesbian.  But I would really like trannies because they're the best of everything."

As you can see, Dan is very astute.  I'm sorry for subjecting you to that.

So currently I'm in the boonies of Germany at a former nunnery with 140 or so other assistants.  And on the bus here there was this British girl with a booming voice who WOULD NOT SHUT UP.  And some girl who was saying how she's a vegetarian but then proceeded to babble positively about eating Rocky Mountain oysters.  I'm sorry, but no amount of bread crumbs or sauce will EVER get me to eat that.  No way.   And for anyone who knows me at all, this girl obviously got on my bad side.  Vegetarian MY BUTT!

I forgot my camera because I always forget my camera, so no piccies yet.  Expect maybe this, because I miss playing with Sadie:

thank to everyone who is reading!  it means a lot to po' ol me.  And here's your German education of the day!

He Alter! [pronounced like "hey alta"] :  Hey Dude!

Very, very useful.  Oh, and a parting gift!!

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videold=184086&title=sarah-palin-gender-card

BYE

-c

IN KÖLN OMG11!!!111

Dan and I are in Köln and since we are on meager internet cafe minutes, here is a quick list of weird stuff we have seen in Köln:

-at kfc, there is a giant sign that says "BOXMASTER"
-a chinese restaurant called "WOK-MAN"
-an old lady barking like a dog
-a giant neon sign of a face drinking a beer
-a shop called "lady's toys"
-Germans seem to be vaguely sympathic to hurricanes and think that people who live in their paths are dumb. They like to remind us of this.
-My mentor has a painting of Stewie from Family Guy in his living room. AWESOME
-Speaking of Family Guy, the dubbed German voices are AWFUL. And Quagmire doesn't even say "giggidy."

NOTE TO SELF: Germans are NOT afraid to yell at´people who break rules like eating a roll on a tram. It is freaking scary to be yelled at by a random German. How did I manage to forget that little fact? (Yes. I ate a roll on the tram. When the guy told me to put it in the trash I glared and put it in my purse. I was NOT going to give up my roll)

I possibly won't have internet for the next few days unless I get my bum to a net cafe, so get pumped for a sweet entry at the end of the week.

ciao
caitlin

Commence the Invasion

After barfing in too many airplane toilets for my liking, I HAVE ARRIVED!

Yeah, it seems that recently I’ve developed an intolerance for flying in airplanes.  The large Indian man behind me won’t let me recline my chair, making sleep almost impossible in a 90-degree body position (despite sleep enhancers and complimentary red wine; thanks, British Airways!).  The boy next to me wants to use the toilet and almost spills my wine everywhere in the process, and I experience a brief feeling of terror as I peer behind the seat, hoping the wine has not stained the Indian man’s khaki pants.  I poke at my dinner and eat some rice, promptly expelling it afterwards via my throat. MEAN NASTY AIRPLANES 

Relief upon relief!  I am fetched by Lothar and Anne (my mentor and his woman).  They live in the St. Pauli district, which is peppered with sex shops (due to its close proximity to the Reeperbahn—more on that later) and tasty döner kebaps (gyro stands).  We wander around a bit and eat and have espresso; my prayers are thus answered.  A street fair boasts many trendy teenagers in skinny jeans and emo scarves, plus an array of people wearing pretty spiffy sneaks and sporting even spiffier haircuts.  Once when I worked in the Writing Center at Dickinson I read a paper in which the author used the word “spiffier” to describe a character’s actions.  I therefore use it now in homage to the poorly written English papers of yore.

In the attempt to feebly hang on to my sparse readership, I will try to document more interesting things than my  puke-tastic plane rides and boring daily activities.  Pictures await you!  Strange German tales will be told!  A fanbase will be created and rendered into minions to do my every bidding! 

That said, I’m beat.  One last thing:  a person from Hamburg is called a Hamburger or Hamburgerin.  It is, much to my disappointment, not a metropolis populated by walking sandwich-like entrees.